To be Alive

Cropped header image by Grim23 under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported.

Last night, I dreamt I went for a night out with some people I knew. It might not sound like much at all, especially considering how common it can sometimes be, but the dream sticks with me and it reminded me of some of the best times I’ve had, so I will write it down. Continue reading


I’m imagining that music not to the dream itself, but maybe to a vlog-style video I’d make about the experience. (I don’t make vlogs, but it fits, right?)

(Also, wow, I’ve been so busy that I forgot I missed this blog’s 3-year anniversary. It’s unbelievable…3 years I’ve been running this? Though usually all it means is that I start disliking more and more of my old work as the definition of “old” work changes…I guess I don’t have a lot of time to relax and write any more)

So, yeah, it’s been an almost solid month of dreams about a festival I went to for a few days. I always have con dreams for a week or two after a convention but I’ve never had recurring dreams this frequently, nor for this long. Usually the ones I do have are scattered apart. Who knew even dreams about good things could be exhausting?

I’m out of money after the festival, though…spent around £1500 for the whole thing, and the dollar-pound exchange rate is somehow still awful right now, not to mention that for some reason, there I didn’t find a single place in DC, Maryland or Virginia that wasn’t more than happy to rip me off for prices that would warrant refusing to buy anything and walking out anywhere else ($6 for toothpaste and $3.50 for a bottle of water? Seriously?)

And sorry if I don’t post much. To post I have to A) actually have a dream worth writing down and B) enough time in the day to write it down and C) a time in the day to write it that’s early enough that I don’t forget to write it down. But this blog is nowhere near dead, so don’t worry!


Cropped header image is my own photo. (It’s just a phone camera snap from last year, nothing professional.)

I’ve been exhausted as ever lately. I’m busy as I said, but my workload hasn’t let up like I thought it would, and at this point, even typing with perfect grammar and capitalisation is taking a little bit of energy. At the start of last month, I went to a music and gaming festival in the USA, flying from England. I had no rest at all after flying home, of course, but enough about exhaustion.

Ever since then, nearly every single dream I’ve had has been about that festival, and I can count on one hand the dreams I’ve had that haven’t been about, and even then, those all came after a literal one month solid block of nothing but dreams about it and the various aspects of everything about the trip. Continue reading

Audio – The Way Home

Again, sorry for the inactivity. I did say I’d be gone a while but I’m still busy and I didn’t expect to be this busy. I’ve had a few interesting dreams but I haven’t had time to write them down and so have forgotten them all. Oops. I was on holiday two weeks ago in the USA and it’s really taken it out of me, though I did experience snow there! Funny enough, the same snowfall that followed me home, but did not settle at all. As usual. It’s cold here anyway though, and it’s not very pleasant.

I’m glad to have a dream about coming home at my own pace. All the dreams about coming home before this involve me being in a big rush to get home, stuff like almost missing the train and going the wrong way. My current kind-of nightmare is coming home from holiday or going to the airport and forgetting absolutely everything including my luggage and passport, so this dream was a welcome break from that. The feeling of coming home after what even just feels like a long time is always the best, even in dreams.

The Way Home

Cropped header image by Tomasz Sienicki under Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported.

It’s very often I dream of unfamiliar places, maybe even the long journey towards it via train stations to roads to even towns that don’t exist. For the first time in a long time last night, I dreamt of the journey home. It reminded me of the relief of coming home from every trip I’ve been on. Coming back from holiday a week or two ago, coming home from holiday last year, coming home after a long convention in October…

I did still dream the journey to my destination; it was a complete blur. I took a road from home that didn’t exist, a road with unevenly spaced shallow stone steps heading up through the garden of a quiet residential area of the town. There were small trees on either side of the steps and I remember being particularly fond of the area, even if I had no time for sightseeing. Just after the garden steps was a massive area of land under construction. A path I usually used was within the fences, but I wasn’t too badly inconvenienced. This part of town didn’t exist either but before I knew it, I was on the plane. Continue reading

So I haven’t been updating a lot recently, and I’ve explained why. I’m still preparing for Christmas, and I’m increasingly sure that I’ve somehow managed to spend hundreds on Christmas. Well, I have been going all-out this year.

So I do frequently say that I don’t fully buy into interpretations of dream meaning, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t at least get a little curious from time to time, and I do notice patterns too.

I can’t help but notice that I have been dreaming a lot about snow recently. Mostly it’s soft, quiet falling snow during one of my good days in winter, or waking up to see snow settled outside on my hometown for the first time in years. Every time I have these dreams, I feel the same excitement every time I see that layer of snow anywhere, be the field in my old school, the grass outside my home, or even a place I’ve visited or seen once or twice, like seeing the Reflecting Pool frozen over or a small river in Italy. It’s generally the same feeling; a happy, content feeling, the sort I remember for years afterwards. My love of these sorts of scenes seems to border or even reside in “childlike”, and it doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon. We don’t see snow a lot where I live, and the last time I remember snow settling here is somewhere in 2011, though when I talk about snow to other people it’s always the heavy snowfall of February 2009. (But enough of that. I always end up talking about that when I approach the subject. Though as I said, I don’t get much snow around here.)

Out of sheer curiosity from the volume of snow dreams I’ve been having, I decided to go search up what the meaning of it could be, mostly to see if the sites on the results had made up meanings based on crude literal interpretations of the many properties of snow or if there was a common interpretation among them. I’m still very sceptical of these kinds of things, as I’ve said so many times, but surprisingly, there did seem to be a common interpretation along the lines of purity, new beginnings, tranquillity and clarity.

Which, to be fair, does fit loosely. Somewhere during the summer, my outlook on life changed for the better. I’m not sure what caused it, but I’m a lot happier now, even if I’m also a lot busier. I’m living a fairly calm and peaceful life, so I guess it fits? Though it didn’t actually happen until mid to late August, and searching through my dreamlogs, I’ve been having these dreams a little before that. So that leaves me with four options: 1) My outlook been gradually changing over all that time, and those dreams were at least a little bit influenced. 2) The dreams were completely unrelated initially, but the change in my life brought them back. 3) I guess I just really like snow and wish it would snow again here. 4) They’re completely unrelated. It’s just one of those phases my dreams are going through.

Those are the main four options I can think of, anyway. It doesn’t really matter which one of those is true, if it’s even any one of them. Even with that said, these dreams only make me want snow over here even more, and it might well be feeding into a cycle of desire for snow -> dream of snow -> desire -> dream, and now that Christmas is coming up fast, I doubt it’s going to let up any time soon.

Realistically? I’m not getting my hopes up for snow and I’m not sure when I’m going to see it again, if ever. It helped a little seeing it in Toronto on a layover to the USA last year, but I very much doubt I’ll be seeing Canada again. But anyway, I’m fine getting by without any magical Christmas day snow or quiet Sundays walking across snowy fields, and I’ll forget about it in time. But even in the waking world I guess I just want to live peacefully, and snow fits that vision perfectly. (Narrowly avoided saying “I just want to live quietly”. Those of you who understand why, nice. Those who didn’t, never mind, it’s not that important. I think I just wanted to get the whole “frequent snow dreams” thing off my chest.)

I’ve been dreaming of snow very often recently…

Audio – The Fall

So finally, I remember something. The rust pool (I can’t help but call it that now) as well as the fall into it left quite an impression on me, as well as the gold/dark fuchsia city. I would have remembered more of it had I written this right away, but I didn’t have the time for that in the morning.

The train explosion was really unexpected too. I’m surprised that didn’t have more of an impact on me…

Anyway, I’m glad I remembered something at least. (Or had an interesting dream? Hmm…)